STOP

STOP apparently was the creation of an MBSR participant a few years ago that has become a popular practice in MBSR training.

Stop. Stopping allows us to intentionally step out of our customary automatic reactivity first by becoming fully aware that being swept along in automatic reactivity is taking place at this moment.

Take a breath (or 3 breaths) (or 360 breaths!). Bringing conscious awareness to the breath allows us to continue the process of stopping, becoming stable in and present for this moment or these moments.

Observe the situation. Having stopped and brought full awareness to the present moment experience allows us to observe what is going on at this moment with greater emotional balance and clarity. We can be more objective and less judgmental.

Proceed. Having observed a situation with greater emotional balance and clarity, we are now in a better position to proceed to take action, likely in a wiser and more productive way than if we had not stopped but acted reactively and automatically. Note that sometimes we will determine, having taken the opportunity to stop and observe, that the best way to proceed is at this moment to take no action at all!

STOP is not to be confused with indecisiveness. It is not a cumbersome layer of mental subcommittees requiring interminable delays before taking action. The entire process could take place within a few seconds, depending on the situation. At other times it might require withdrawing oneself from an emotionally charged situation and sitting with the breath for at least a few minutes before proceeding. What it really does is greatly expand our options for how best to respond to any given situation.

RAIN

Recognition: To work with something we first have to recognize that it exists. Stopping and paying attention helps us to recognize what is. For example, we may recognize a part of us that is wounded, and we may also recognize a part of us that might be called the “inner critic,” the part that is saying, “you should” or “you ought to” or “you need to.”

Acceptance: Once we recognize that something exists, we then can fully acknowledge its existence and allow ourselves to open up to it from the heart in a nonjudgmental way. Acceptance does not mean approval but simply acknowledgment that this is the way it is. In the example above we would then make space for both the part of us that is wounded and the part that is the inner critic, without preference for one or the other, giving both acknowledgment and acceptance.

Investigation: Once we have recognized and accepted something, then we are in a position to be able to investigate it. Investigation can be a slow and gentle process, handled with patience, and cultivated by awareness of the interrelationships of our thoughts, emotions and body sensations. Again in the example above we can give presence for both the wounded part and the inner critic, allowing both to be “heard” in their own time. To heal does not mean “to cure,” but rather “to make whole.” Giving an impartial voice to all parts of our inner world that need to be heard allows us to heal.

Non-identification: There is much more to us than anything we are presently working with. When we can step out of identifying with something in our inner world, we can more effectively give it presence. Thus, when something comes up, we neither identify with it nor dissociate from it but rather give it our full attention with impartial awareness. How we use language is very important here: We avoid saying, for example, “I am useless” in favor of saying “a part of me wants to say that I am useless.” Or instead of “I am hurt” we could say, “I am noticing a feeling of being hurt.” Our thinking mind may not notice much difference, but our emotional mind contained deep within the brain (the limbic system) really takes such things to heart without our realizing it.